[Anna's brows draw together in concern at the way Lorna's struggling with whatever it is she's trying to say. What could possibly be that terrible that she'd think Anna would be so horrified? She pets the back of one of Lorna's hands soothingly. Encouragingly.
When Lorna finally gets out with it, Anna's surprised, but not for the reasons one might expect. After all, she already knows that much, right?
She shakes her head.]
L-Lorna, I don't understand. We're all monsters, here.
[Get it out, she has to get it out, she needs to just say it and get it over with and go back to living whatever she had that constituted as a life before Anna.]
Nay, not always.
[She shakes her head, tries to draw what comfort she can from the tender hands holding hers.]
Not as I have been.
[Damn her eyes, why can't she speak plainly. Enough dancing about, she needs to say what she means and be done with it, spare them both her sniveling.]
Even before this place, I was a monster, a wicked, wretched thing. A dark and terrible spirit had made a home in my body and mind, twisting them both to suit its ghastly appetite.
[She risks a glance up at Anna, only to wince and immediately look back down, too frightened by what she might see there to hold her gaze.]
Our cellar became a crypt. Its walls were lined from end to end with the bones of those whose great misfortune it was to have known me.
[She draws one of her hands away, wiping quickly at the corners of her eyes. Still, she doesn't have the heart to look at Anna.]
...I understand if your heart has turned against me. I don't know why I ever thought I could hold a place in it, being as I am.
[Anna goes very quiet, and very still. Because really, of all the things she's been worried it might be, demonic possession was definitely not one of them. And it cuts her, it hurts, to hear Lorna say that she doesn't feel worthy of her love.
A determined set to her face, Anna bends her head, trying to find Lorna's gaze again. She doesn't pull her hand away; if anything, she grips tighter.]
Lorna...my heart could never 'turn against you.' I don't care what you did, and...and that wasn't even your fault! You couldn't help it, you were...p-possessed, right?
[Lorna doesn't understand. Anna - she must have misunderstood, she must have heard her wrong, or maybe the weight of her words simply haven't sunken in yet - whatever it is, Lorna doesn't hold hope that it will last very long. Any moment now it will all hit her in a rush, and she'll take back her kind, forgiving words and finally see Lorna for what she truly is, for what she's been all this time.]
[Lorna holds her breath, waiting for Anna to come to her senses. She leaves her question unanswered for a moment, then another, afraid to break the silence.]
[Then, when she can bear the silence - and those too-kind eyes - no longer, Lorna finally lowers her gaze and gives a small, sad nod in confirmation.]
...What matter does it make? I might as well have done the killing myself, for what little I could do to stop it.
[She tries, weakly, to pull her hands free from Anna's gentle grip, but her heart isn't in it. It hurts to accept her affection, knowing how terribly misplaced it is, and it hurts just as much to think that this might be the last of it she'll ever see.]
[Even then, she supposes she should take comfort in knowing it's still more than she ever deserved.
[Anna can't understand why Lorna is being so self-flagellating about this. Or rather, she doesn't understand, not until she thinks back to all those years of silence from Elsa. How she'd felt like it was something she'd done wrong, how she'd blamed herself for somehow, unknowingly, driving her sister away from her so forcefully that she'd locked herself away in her room for fifteen years.
And then she gets it.
She doesn't let go of Lorna's hands; quite the opposite, she squeezes them that much more tightly with her own petal-soft fingers.]
Lorna...it's not your fault. You didn't ask for that. You...you're the kindest, sweetest person I've ever known. That isn't you. And—
[She lets go of one hand and reaches out to tilt Lorna's face upward, to rub a thumb over her soft, smooth cheek, and give her an encouraging smile.]
No matter what happened in your past, I love you. I love you so much, Lorna, and nothing could change that. I promise.
[Lorna has never been one to doubt the words of others, regardless of how well she knows them. She trusts, perhaps too readily, that every word she hears is God's honest truth until it is otherwise proven.]
[And yet, when Anna tells her all those things, says everything she hadn't allowed herself to hope for, Lorna cannot help but doubt. It's all too good, too perfect to be true. It's like something out of a storybook, only the genre has taken a sudden shift from a Grimm Tale to a Fairy one.]
[Lorna presses her mouth into a thin line to hide the trembling of her lower lip, but it's no use - the moment Anna's thumb brushes over cheek, her composure crumbles. Her breath hitches, her throat tightens, and her eyes threaten to spill over with tears.]
Oh, Anna...
[She feels so foolish. Foolish for doubting her, for worrying herself sick, for making such a spectacle of herself. It's embarrassing, being so overwhelmed with emotion that she cannot keep herself in check - she doesn't know whether to smile with joy or cry with relief and so she does both, sniffing softly as ducks her head to her shoulder so that she can wipe her cheek dry without freeing her hands from Anna's.]
Whatever did I do to deserve you?
[Her smile is a fragile, shaky thing, but its there all the same.]
[Anna lets out a soft, relieved laugh; even though Lorna is crying, it's infinitely better than seeing her sit there and talk about how 'unworthy' she is. Shaking her head, Anna comes around the side of the table without letting go of Lorna's hands, kneeling down beside her chair and giving both hands a reassuring squeeze.]
You didn't have to do anything, Lorna. You were just yourself, and...and I love you for that.
[Her mind drifts toward the subtle weight in the pocket of her dress. Maybe now isn't the time after all...it's a hard decision to make, but she won't make it until she's a hundred percent sure Lorna is okay.]
["Okay" is perhaps a weak word for how Lorna is feeling at the moment. "Elated" is a better choice, second to "dizzy with relief" and "full to bursting with deep, burning adoration"]
[Poor Anna only gets to kneel down on the floor by herself for a few seconds before Lorna follows after her, dropping down to her knees so that she can more easily wrap her up in an embrace which they both sorely need.]
--And I you. Would that there were words to describe how much.
[Anna's laugh this time is startled; she hadn't been expecting Lorna to join her down on the floor, but she gladly accepts the embrace, nuzzling her chin into Lorna's shoulder. Her heart is pounding a thousand miles an hour, and she's sure Lorna must be able to hear it, the way it's going. But...well, you know when the moment is right, and right now feels pretty damn perfect to Anna.
She pulls back, planting soft kisses on Lorna's cheek, her fuzzy ear, the base of one of her horns.]
Maybe I should...say my thing now.
[One hand reaches into her pocket, reassuring herself that the ring is still there.]
[Though Lorna would have been content to stay as they were for quite a while longer, she doesn't protest when Anna pulls away - rather, she sees it as an opportunity to get a hold of herself, dabbing her face dry with her sleeve while Anna peppers her with three little pecks.]
[Goodness, she can only imagine how red and splotchy her face must look. At the very least, her eyes must certainly be red.]
Oh, of course, of course- I had nearly forgotten.
[She flashes a small, apologetic smile, embarrassed now that she remembers Anna had been waiting all this time to share something of her own.]
[Lorna smooths her hair back, tucking her fringe away from her still-damp cheeks in an effort to tidy herself up a bit after all that emotional tossing and turning she just did.]
What is it you wanted to say, my sweet turtledove?
[Anna's heart feels like it's about to leap out of her throat, but she manages to swallow down her nerves enough to get out what she wants to say. What she's been practicing. In her pocket, her fingers close around the slender ring, and pull it out, still hidden in her palm. One of Anna's vines reaches out to help tidy Lorna's hair, a soft leaf nudging up under her eye to wipe away a tear.]
Well...okay. Whew! Here goes. I've...been thinking a lot, lately, about how time works here, and...and how it's smart to make the most of it. After all, people come and go all the time. And recently, someone smart told me that if I want to enjoy something while I'm here, I should just...go for it, instead of worrying about what might happen.
[Anna clears her throat, the ring feeling like a ship's anchor in her palm. Here goes nothing.]
Anyway, wow, um—what I'm trying to say, is. You make me happier than anyone in this whole world, Lorna, in any world. Being your girlfriend has been like...like a fairytale for me! And I love every single day that we spend together. S-so, I was sort of wondering...
[Now she raises her hand, palm-up, and uncurls her fingers. Inside, nestled in the petals of a white camellia she'd grown on the spot, is a delicate gold ring in the shape of a rose, with a diamond peeking out of its center. This she offers to Lorna with a nervous smile.]
Would you...marry me? Be my wife? And spend the rest of our days together, no matter how many there are?
[Years ago, before she knew better than to ever hope for such a thing, Lorna used to daydream about proposals, weddings, true love and all the other storybook things that weren't allowed to her. Even in her fantasies, she never expected much: boy her age or a touch older, a simple young man of simple means, someone who would take well to Auntie. He would be money-poor but spirit-wealthy, possessing charm and character and a good heart but little else.]
[However, even a dream as simple as that had always seemed too much to ask. To think anyone other than Auntie could ever love her - it was preposterous.]
[And now here she is a lifetime later, watching all those once-forgotten dreams unfold in real life as though they were plucked straight from her mind, only the circumstances are so wildly beyond anything she ever could have pictured even in her most untamed imaginings.]
[She's not being proposed by a young man, but a woman. She does not come from simple means, but royalty, and her heart, charm, and character were only a fraction of the qualities she possesses.]
[Lorna cannot believe this is happening - her mind simply cannot reconcile the reality of the situation with her long-held but now thoroughly obliterated expectations.]
[She blinks rapidly, her stunned, wide-eyes brimming once more with fresh tears, her hands hovering over her mouth as though to stifle a gasp - not that she could utter one even if she tried. Her throat's gone so tight she can scarcely breathe let alone make a sound, and so she answers Anna's question the only way she can.]
[She nods, just once at first, then more rapidly as her composure takes leave of her once again and reduces her to hiccuping softly as she chokes back a sob, her shoulders shaking from the effort of keeping herself from falling to pieces.]
[She leans forward to hug Anna once more, her tail snaking around to wrap around her waist because she simply does not have enough appendages with which to express just how much she loves her.]
[Waiting for Lorna's answer is very nearly agony. There's a moment, when Lorna's just sort of blinking at her and staring, where Anna's worried that she's misread this, that Lorna's fine with them being together, but maybe she'd only want to marry a man...
But then she's nodding and Anna feels herself swept up in joy and relief, her stomach clenching as she realizes that she's saying yes That she didn't make the wrong decision She leans forward into Lorna's embrace with a wet laugh, tears forming in her own eyes now, and laughs in mingled disbelief and utter joy.]
Aye, a thousand times, aye! A million more, as many as you'd ask.
[She's smiling so hard she aches from the strain of it, but that doesn't stop her from expressing her joy in the slightest - it just encourages her to channel it elsewhere.]
[For example, to her wings; they flutter behind her as fiercely as the butterflies in her stomach, which has the unintended consequence of lifting them both off the ground. Lorna is startled for only a moment before a laugh bubbles up from her throat and she tightens her grip on Anna, keeping her safe and secure as she spins them both about in a little circle of shared delight.]
[Anna lets out a joyful squeal, that escalates as she feels herself lifted up off the ground; she only clings tighter to Lorna, face buried in her shoulder, before she pulls her head back and leans in to give her fiancée (fiancée!!) a kiss, pouring all her love into it. When she pulls back, she's breathless, eyes wet.]
[Lorna has never truly understood the phrase 'Kissed silly' until now, but wow. She wants to squeal and bury her face in her hands and jump up and down but she can do none of those things without both dropping Anna and herself back to the ground in a most undignified heap.]
[So, instead, she settles for burying her burning face in the crook of Anna's neck to hide what she is sure is a furious blush.]
And you me - more than words can say.
[She lowers them slowly back to the ground, and once she's back on her hooves she pulls away from her little hiding place at Anna's throat with a parting kiss to her shoulder.]
[When she looks back to Anna, tear-filled eyes meeting tear-filled eyes, she cannot help but laugh softly and shake her head.]
Look at us, making such fools of ourselves.
[She reaches up to swipe her thumbs across the corners of Anna's eyes, partly to dry them, but mostly so she can have the excuse to cradle her face in her hands.]
Thank the Lord we're not in public, we would have made quite the spectacle.
[What did Anna ever deserve, to find a companion who's so sweet, so tender and soft and adorable, but strong? Strong in her own way, strong in a quiet way that Anna's always admired.
She lets out a wet laugh, feeling Lorna wipe away her tears, and nuzzles into one of her hands with those petal soft cheeks.]
Oh, I know better than to do something like this in public! [Another laugh, a sniffle.] I don't want you to actually burst into flame, dearest.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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When Lorna finally gets out with it, Anna's surprised, but not for the reasons one might expect. After all, she already knows that much, right?
She shakes her head.]
L-Lorna, I don't understand. We're all monsters, here.
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Nay, not always.
[She shakes her head, tries to draw what comfort she can from the tender hands holding hers.]
Not as I have been.
[Damn her eyes, why can't she speak plainly. Enough dancing about, she needs to say what she means and be done with it, spare them both her sniveling.]
Even before this place, I was a monster, a wicked, wretched thing. A dark and terrible spirit had made a home in my body and mind, twisting them both to suit its ghastly appetite.
[She risks a glance up at Anna, only to wince and immediately look back down, too frightened by what she might see there to hold her gaze.]
Our cellar became a crypt. Its walls were lined from end to end with the bones of those whose great misfortune it was to have known me.
[She draws one of her hands away, wiping quickly at the corners of her eyes. Still, she doesn't have the heart to look at Anna.]
...I understand if your heart has turned against me. I don't know why I ever thought I could hold a place in it, being as I am.
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A determined set to her face, Anna bends her head, trying to find Lorna's gaze again. She doesn't pull her hand away; if anything, she grips tighter.]
Lorna...my heart could never 'turn against you.' I don't care what you did, and...and that wasn't even your fault! You couldn't help it, you were...p-possessed, right?
no subject
[Lorna holds her breath, waiting for Anna to come to her senses. She leaves her question unanswered for a moment, then another, afraid to break the silence.]
[Then, when she can bear the silence - and those too-kind eyes - no longer, Lorna finally lowers her gaze and gives a small, sad nod in confirmation.]
...What matter does it make? I might as well have done the killing myself, for what little I could do to stop it.
[She tries, weakly, to pull her hands free from Anna's gentle grip, but her heart isn't in it. It hurts to accept her affection, knowing how terribly misplaced it is, and it hurts just as much to think that this might be the last of it she'll ever see.]
[Even then, she supposes she should take comfort in knowing it's still more than she ever deserved.
no subject
And then she gets it.
She doesn't let go of Lorna's hands; quite the opposite, she squeezes them that much more tightly with her own petal-soft fingers.]
Lorna...it's not your fault. You didn't ask for that. You...you're the kindest, sweetest person I've ever known. That isn't you. And—
[She lets go of one hand and reaches out to tilt Lorna's face upward, to rub a thumb over her soft, smooth cheek, and give her an encouraging smile.]
No matter what happened in your past, I love you. I love you so much, Lorna, and nothing could change that. I promise.
no subject
[And yet, when Anna tells her all those things, says everything she hadn't allowed herself to hope for, Lorna cannot help but doubt. It's all too good, too perfect to be true. It's like something out of a storybook, only the genre has taken a sudden shift from a Grimm Tale to a Fairy one.]
[Lorna presses her mouth into a thin line to hide the trembling of her lower lip, but it's no use - the moment Anna's thumb brushes over cheek, her composure crumbles. Her breath hitches, her throat tightens, and her eyes threaten to spill over with tears.]
Oh, Anna...
[She feels so foolish. Foolish for doubting her, for worrying herself sick, for making such a spectacle of herself. It's embarrassing, being so overwhelmed with emotion that she cannot keep herself in check - she doesn't know whether to smile with joy or cry with relief and so she does both, sniffing softly as ducks her head to her shoulder so that she can wipe her cheek dry without freeing her hands from Anna's.]
Whatever did I do to deserve you?
[Her smile is a fragile, shaky thing, but its there all the same.]
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You didn't have to do anything, Lorna. You were just yourself, and...and I love you for that.
[Her mind drifts toward the subtle weight in the pocket of her dress. Maybe now isn't the time after all...it's a hard decision to make, but she won't make it until she's a hundred percent sure Lorna is okay.]
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[Poor Anna only gets to kneel down on the floor by herself for a few seconds before Lorna follows after her, dropping down to her knees so that she can more easily wrap her up in an embrace which they both sorely need.]
--And I you. Would that there were words to describe how much.
no subject
She pulls back, planting soft kisses on Lorna's cheek, her fuzzy ear, the base of one of her horns.]
Maybe I should...say my thing now.
[One hand reaches into her pocket, reassuring herself that the ring is still there.]
Would that be alright?
no subject
[Goodness, she can only imagine how red and splotchy her face must look. At the very least, her eyes must certainly be red.]
Oh, of course, of course- I had nearly forgotten.
[She flashes a small, apologetic smile, embarrassed now that she remembers Anna had been waiting all this time to share something of her own.]
[Lorna smooths her hair back, tucking her fringe away from her still-damp cheeks in an effort to tidy herself up a bit after all that emotional tossing and turning she just did.]
What is it you wanted to say, my sweet turtledove?
no subject
Well...okay. Whew! Here goes. I've...been thinking a lot, lately, about how time works here, and...and how it's smart to make the most of it. After all, people come and go all the time. And recently, someone smart told me that if I want to enjoy something while I'm here, I should just...go for it, instead of worrying about what might happen.
[Anna clears her throat, the ring feeling like a ship's anchor in her palm. Here goes nothing.]
Anyway, wow, um—what I'm trying to say, is. You make me happier than anyone in this whole world, Lorna, in any world. Being your girlfriend has been like...like a fairytale for me! And I love every single day that we spend together. S-so, I was sort of wondering...
[Now she raises her hand, palm-up, and uncurls her fingers. Inside, nestled in the petals of a white camellia she'd grown on the spot, is a delicate gold ring in the shape of a rose, with a diamond peeking out of its center. This she offers to Lorna with a nervous smile.]
Would you...marry me? Be my wife? And spend the rest of our days together, no matter how many there are?
no subject
[However, even a dream as simple as that had always seemed too much to ask. To think anyone other than Auntie could ever love her - it was preposterous.]
[And now here she is a lifetime later, watching all those once-forgotten dreams unfold in real life as though they were plucked straight from her mind, only the circumstances are so wildly beyond anything she ever could have pictured even in her most untamed imaginings.]
[She's not being proposed by a young man, but a woman. She does not come from simple means, but royalty, and her heart, charm, and character were only a fraction of the qualities she possesses.]
[Lorna cannot believe this is happening - her mind simply cannot reconcile the reality of the situation with her long-held but now thoroughly obliterated expectations.]
[She blinks rapidly, her stunned, wide-eyes brimming once more with fresh tears, her hands hovering over her mouth as though to stifle a gasp - not that she could utter one even if she tried. Her throat's gone so tight she can scarcely breathe let alone make a sound, and so she answers Anna's question the only way she can.]
[She nods, just once at first, then more rapidly as her composure takes leave of her once again and reduces her to hiccuping softly as she chokes back a sob, her shoulders shaking from the effort of keeping herself from falling to pieces.]
[She leans forward to hug Anna once more, her tail snaking around to wrap around her waist because she simply does not have enough appendages with which to express just how much she loves her.]
no subject
But then she's nodding and Anna feels herself swept up in joy and relief, her stomach clenching as she realizes that she's saying yes That she didn't make the wrong decision She leans forward into Lorna's embrace with a wet laugh, tears forming in her own eyes now, and laughs in mingled disbelief and utter joy.]
R-really? You'll really marry me?
Oh my god that icon tho
[She's smiling so hard she aches from the strain of it, but that doesn't stop her from expressing her joy in the slightest - it just encourages her to channel it elsewhere.]
[For example, to her wings; they flutter behind her as fiercely as the butterflies in her stomach, which has the unintended consequence of lifting them both off the ground. Lorna is startled for only a moment before a laugh bubbles up from her throat and she tightens her grip on Anna, keeping her safe and secure as she spins them both about in a little circle of shared delight.]
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Lorna, you've made me so happy.
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[So, instead, she settles for burying her burning face in the crook of Anna's neck to hide what she is sure is a furious blush.]
And you me - more than words can say.
[She lowers them slowly back to the ground, and once she's back on her hooves she pulls away from her little hiding place at Anna's throat with a parting kiss to her shoulder.]
[When she looks back to Anna, tear-filled eyes meeting tear-filled eyes, she cannot help but laugh softly and shake her head.]
Look at us, making such fools of ourselves.
[She reaches up to swipe her thumbs across the corners of Anna's eyes, partly to dry them, but mostly so she can have the excuse to cradle her face in her hands.]
Thank the Lord we're not in public, we would have made quite the spectacle.
no subject
She lets out a wet laugh, feeling Lorna wipe away her tears, and nuzzles into one of her hands with those petal soft cheeks.]
Oh, I know better than to do something like this in public! [Another laugh, a sniffle.] I don't want you to actually burst into flame, dearest.